In which Caitlinmae is disillusioned by gawker

I moved to NY, and I got REAL earnest.
Funny how life works out.

I just revisited Gawker for one of the first times since graduation... I've been successfully off Perez Hilton for a few months longer than that. I read this post and literally felt nauseous. I read Jessica's limelight inducing blogpost, which I thought was a sincere and reasonable critique of the Tracie and Moe mega-faux pas (Why oh why don't I have more vital occupations than the internet.) But these attacks by Gawker commenters, this spewed vitriol? It actually turned my stomach. Not to mention that I've BEEN that girl, crying in supermarkets because everything is so foreign and you feel so lost. I've also been vegetarian in Paris, albeit briefly, and if Harris hadn't been there as my guide, I wouldn't have had anything to eat nearly the whole time.

Who knew that once I actually got to the city as a resident my skin would thin to the snarkattacks of the media blog I'd loved from Poughkeepsie? When I was lonelylost in Prague, I'd read Gawker and feel homesick. I found Riese via bloggorea, and that's been nothing but a delight. But now that I have a 11211 zipcode and live in hipster Disney World, I certainly haven't hardened in a way that's made this sort of thing seem acceptable.

I'll stick with Jezebel from now on, Mr. Denton. I like their politics infinitely more, and they don't seem to be out for blood nearly as ferociously as your more profitable blog.

Old Jews

Look ma! Someone paid me to take pictures of the elderly!

On the nature of septembers

I rewatched my czech film last night, and found it sorely lacking in several areas in which I was once quite proud of it.
You can be the judge, it's on vimeo:



By Your Side from Caitlin Mae Burke on Vimeo.

(also, it bothers me a little bit that I can't select the preview image.)

This film is not nearly as tight as I thought it was two years ago. The storytelling is far too concise, the writing seems limited. It's too brief. But I think Chris did a GREAT job making it beautiful... and I could easily use it on an editing/art design reel.

I am starting to realize certain unglamourous things about my behavior in prague... None of these are disheartening, but they certainly color the memories. In short, I was a ridiculously irresponsible drinker, lived way too hard, gained an absurd air of entitlement, and was generally unbearable to some of my classmates and professors. But SOMEHOW, I managed to hook hannahschorr and samryan, and they're still around, only having known the violent, slightly unhinged caitlin that I presented for those five months in that country.

Have I mellowed over the past two years, or do I simply feel less justified in raving bitchery? Can I look at my creative output from that time and be as impressed with myself as I was when I had just returned?

I think it matters little. I was pleased with myself then, and currently can actually see quite an improvement: both artistically and interpersonally.