SAM RYAN, YOU ARE ALL UP IN MY INTERNET GRILL
STEP OFF (but plz don't because I feel like this is the new tin can phone)
In other news, no one has made me cry today. But the night is young, the drinks will be aplenty (H won a free happy hour! If I actually get out of work at a normal person time, I can go there!) and I'm sure I will
1. propose marriage to Ali
2. text inappropriately
3. break a glass
4. leave an ancillary article of clothing somewhere
5. wish I'd eaten more before drinking
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